This document provides a summary of the author's most memorable Thanksgiving from 1985. Some key details: - The author and his mother took a cruise to Baja California for Thanksgiving instead of their usual family celebrations. - On the cruise, his mother secured them an invitation to dine with the captain by sending him one of the author's books. - They had an amusing misunderstanding when another passenger mistook them for a married couple due to their titles. - His mother organized a talent show performance reenacting the first Thanksgiving that was a success, despite the author being intoxicated and having to improvise. - The author fondly remembers his mother and how she made the most of

1. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing and football!! Nov 19, 2012

2. Preface / Introduction
A great series of articles on Thanksgiving and what its true meaning is. Feel free to comment: For
more information on how I can help you create your own custom ebooks skype me Howard Martell
at homeprofitcoach

3. Table of Contents
1. My most memorable Thanksgiving... and oh the memories!
2. Not in the mood for Thanksgiving? Then be grateful for what you don't have!
3. A recognized Internet marketing master delivers the sober word you don't want to hear: The way
you're 'marketing' online your failure is assured. Take the challenge and see for yourself.

4. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
My most memorable Thanksgiving... and oh the memories!
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. Quick can you name your favorite Thanksgiving song? Unless it's "Over the
river and through the woods" (1844), you probably don't have one. But I do. It's called "Turkey in
the straw", and it is a traditional American folk song from the 1820s. And though strictly speaking it
was not written for Thanksgiving, you'll have to forego its strict history in favor of the elastic
meaning I shall give the tune and its use. I am sure, in due time, you will forgive me. In any event,
start by going to any search engine, find the tune, and put on your dancing shoes... because this
Thanksgiving you'll be dancing, not just filling out your embonpoint, and belching.
What my family usually did for Thanksgiving... celebrated, sanctified, dull.
I was brought up in an Illinois family which, like all our neighbors, believed in the verities of God,
country, and family. These were the bedrocks on which we built our homes, our communities and
our nation. And these three essential parts of American life came sharply together at Thanksgiving,
an event which had to be arranged and celebrated in the grand manner... best china, best crystal, best
silver and food that was quite simply awesome, no stinting contemplated, allowed, or accepted. We
were Americans, part of the great heartland of the nation, and if we didn't have much to be thankful
for, then who did?
Still, this holiday (and Christmas, too) always raised the issue of where to celebrate, for we were part
of large extended families with matriarchs in various branches who made it clear their feelings
would be hurt if we didn't grace their Thanksgiving Day tables, though why they wanted my sister
with her tendency to scream while eating (admittedly she was only in pre-school) and my brother
(but that is another story), I as eldest son and eldest grandson (on both sides) could never
understand. I knew why they wanted me... "let me count the ways...."
The solution to this problem of venue was solved in most years by the simple expedient of appearing
at two (or even more) holiday tables groaning under the weight of families who had done well... and
stuffing ourselves to sickness accordingly. It is no wonder they felt queasy by day's end. Personally I
always saved room (if at all possible) for the desserts... for here amidst so many culinary
achievements... was sweet perfection in so many alluring ways. Pies of every kind (pumpkin de
rigueur of course), cobblers, cookies with holiday themes... strudel (we were of Germanic stock and
proud)... and the cakes... but enough. Suffice it to say there was no thought of mere sufficiency. It
was all about excess... in so many ways so that no one could ever say anything else, or even suggest
it.
Time -- and holiday arrangements -- marches on.
Sadly, over time things changed and my father and mother were significant reasons why the
multi-mealed Thanksgiving came to an end. Specifically, we moved from Illinois when I was just 16
to California, where family (as Charles Manson and hippies from Haight-Ashbury proved) had an
altogether different meaning. And so, unless my father decided (and my mother concurred), for
father's sister and his wife did not love each other, unless, that is, we were going to our Carter
cousins' ranch in Bakersfield, we stayed home... and invited people we liked, who were never
related. In short, we went from the traditional Thanksgiving of too much of this, too much of that,
people we "had" to like because we were related, to Thanksgivings we invented... and, as we
discovered later when sociologists explored American migrations, most other people were doing the
same thing. And that's why my mother, Shirley de Lauing Lant Phelps de Barlais y de Kesoun, and I
were in the port of San Pedro, California en route to Baja California for Thanksgiving, 1985.
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5. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
Fourth book, second Thanksgiving out of America.
I have always been of an industrious nature and my breakneck pace through 1985 made clear that I
was a man on a mission, going places, meeting people. I had my fourth book underway, a publishing
company to oversee, an international consulting business, a multitude of lectures nationwide, and a
nationally syndicated program on the Business Radio Network. Managing time was of the essence..
and this precluded vacations and other ways of wasting time, including voyaging to a part of the
world in which I had absolutely no interest. But, then, my mother did... and she was a very
formidable woman. She named the destination, I ponied up for the tickets, and so we boarded one of
the floating restaurants and bars they call cruise ships, where eating and lassitude are the order of the
day, every day.
We were booked as Dr. and Mrs. Lant, which while absolutely accurate was also the seed for a
memorable (and oh so wrong) deduction... because, you see, on this ship, as on all such vessels, the
ladies of a certain age always out number the gents... and so the hopefulness which always
accompanies these ladies on board always quickly wilts.
My mother was a stylish and youthful looking woman and made a point of so appearing, to best
advantage. I was, as usual, slovenly, a demolisher of clothes, even those from the best shops in
Boston and England. Still, as Agatha Christie once observed, old clothes properly cut are always
suitable attire for a gentleman. My mother strenuously disagreed, but here her jeremiads fell on deaf
ears.
Still...one memorable evening, a woman of the purple-haired ilk sidled up to POM (Poor Old
Mother) and asked how long we'd been married... and how she'd managed it; (no doubt wanting
instructions on how to secure as willing mate one as young, winsome, and obviously God-favored as
I.) Freud must have had a conniption.
And that was just the beginning of the memorable holiday voyage.
My mother and I worked as a team; she was admiral, I cadet. The moment after we arrived on board,
she took a page of her cream colored stationary as Baroness de Barlais y de Kesoun, gold coronet
ablaze at the top, and sent a charming message (of which she was past mistress) to the Captain,
advising him a celebrated author was on board whom she'd like to present. That "celebrated author"
would have been me. That note she delivered post haste to the purser along with a First Edition of
my book "Our Harvard," suitably autographed by that self-same author. She always traveled with a
few copies...
The next day I sat in a deck chair, enveloped in a plaid blanket, hands chilled, writing the current
book, "The Unabashed Self-Promoter's Guide: What every man, woman, child and organization in
America needs to know about getting ahead by exploiting the media." For all that I had to be thawed
out each evening, I was making lickety-split progress... and could still dance attendance on Her
Ladyship, my mother. It was a model that worked...
The Captain requests...
In due course, of course, the Captain responded... not just with an invitation to the table at dinner
where he held court but to cocktails in his luxurious private quarters. We dressed accordingly; (my
Harvard blazer was wrinkled but its insignia buttons were solid gold.) When we discovered he was
Greek, we should have recalled the old maxim "Beware of Greeks bearing gifts..."
He was a man of charm, information, and what we Midwesterners call schmaltz. As such he was
very good company, paying every courtesy to the Double B (as we termed the double Baroness, in
her own right, too). But there was something not quite right... which became instantly apparent
when, in paying my mother an exaggerated farewell he tickled the inside of my hand, in a manner
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6. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
which could not possibly have been misconstrued. I meant to tell her... she would have roared with
laugher and indignation. Which brings us to our unique Thanksgiving on the high seas.
On board, one ate and participated in activities which could never quite obscure their purpose: to let
air out of bloated stomachs. One of these activities was the time-honored "talent show" which would
have been anything but... except for POM. She had an idea to sweep the boards... she always did...
and with her vision, energy, imagination and unparalleled ability to shame people into doing things,
she generally succeeded. "The First Thanksgiving".
POM dragooned one passenger after another into taking part in what was certain to be the winning
entry: a sure-to-please musical rendition of the first Thanksgiving, with dialog by me and direction
by... but you can guess who. Despite frequent (ever escalating) reminders that the script needed to
be written, yours truly did not write the script; instead falling victim to Demon Rum... and so when
POM came to get me for dress rehearsal (a bare hour before the opening curtain) she found her boy
drunk as the lord he was. No script. No excuse. No hope.
But still the show went on, though I had to ad-lib every word, including musical cues to the band,
which gamely played our game. Pilgrims said the silly things they would say... Indians (face-paint
perfect) acted aboriginal... and "Turkey in the straw" rang out frequently as passenger Pilgrims and
Indians ran about the stage capturing passenger turkeys. Then le tout ensemble sang "God Bless
America". Of course we were cheered to the echo, and I got the kind of hugs and kudos I expected...
and she had deserved.
My Thanksgiving this year will be dull indeed without her... for she is making friends and raising
cane in a better place, where she will know, for certain, I would write this article and remember....
***** What are your favourite Thanksgiving memories? Let us know by posting your comments
below.
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 6 of 13

7. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
Not in the mood for Thanksgiving? Then be grateful for what
you don't have!
by Dr. Jeffrey Lant
Author's program note. Rarely if ever have I seen my fellow countrymen so riled up... irritable,
angry, rude epithets at the ready, bad behaviors endemic. What's going on? Try these for openers...
A rotten economic situation that just won't get better... and you're afraid it never will. And so you
worry (for the umpteenth time) about just how secure your job is. Is there some guy in Mumbai
who'll be glad to do it at half what you get? You've raised the subject with your boss... but his
answer was not reassuring and now he won't look you in the eye.
A president whose leadership style gives us no leadership... and nary a Republican presidential
candidate who doesn't cause multitudes to hold their noses, gagging, and wonder why our mind
boggling lengthy and expensive campaign produces candidates we can't stand or respect, much less
admire.
Sickening scandals like the one still unfolding at Penn State, scandals that make us wake up in the
middle of the night shouting, "What the...... is going on around here?". Sometimes we wonder, and
not just once either, whether anyone is honest, decent, and unarmed anymore... or whether it's only
suckers (you being one) who play by the rules.
Every day we pick up the newspaper and read about another murder in the neighborhood, our
neighborhood. Are our neighbors only "good" because we don't know their secret lives and the
home truths that haven't yet been disclosed?
We read about some drug bust at the school down the street... and are horrified to see the police
photo and recognize our kid's favorite teacher. We run upstairs and check the closet and dresser
drawer to see if this has touched us even closer. You're fortunate today... nothing out of order... but
the word "yet" comes immediately to mind... since these days you expect something bad to happen
any time now and aren't particularly surprised when it does.
We read about... and are as concerned as our busy lives will allow... another species declared
extinct... another Web sex scandal... another political official with a skill for theft and plausible
denial. You feel sure he'll get off easy when his time in court comes up. Is that what the bandage
over the eyes of the statue of Justice is supposed to mean?
You're concerned about America's unending wars in countries whose names you cannot pronounce,
much less find on a map, but which you are paying for. You've got a friend whose young cousin,
proud and handsome in his Marine Corps uniform, was killed by a sniper... a boy just 20 years old.
The thought haunts you all day... You want to believe such early death helps the country in question,
America, the world... but you don't. You see that boy's eyes and feel them boring into you, asking
one question over and over -- "Why?"... and you just can't give a good answer. You feel increasingly
helpless as the barrage of bad news, miseries, muddles, mayhem just won't quit. You want time off
from it all... but these realities, details delivered to us faster than ever compliments of the Web,
constitute the unceasing rhythm of our lives.
And this is only the tip of the iceberg.
We wonder if, after a lifetime of contributing, Social Security will be there when we need it... and
whether Medicare will provide the level of service we'll need. A gal from our office had that acute
breathing problem and was put on a respirator; the hospital didn't want to pay for it... and the matter
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8. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
now resides in their legal department. We want care... we get lawyers. It makes us very, very
nervous.... and sad.
We wonder how some shady Greek and Italian politicians can have so much influence on our lives
so far away. What kind of magic powers have they got that force us (however superficially) to pay
attention to what they're doing... and doing... and doing, all of which threatens the stability and
satisfaction of our lives? You want to say it's "unfair"... but you know no one cares what you think
about the matter... and you don't want people to think you're a wimp. So you stay quiet and
unsatisfied... it's just the way things are. And so the days pass...
... until the calendar tells you it's Thanksgiving, the official day, sanctioned by custom and dictated
by law, you get together with family and friends to eat too much and give thanks for your ability to
do so. But this year, you just don't feel like it, though you wouldn't mind a piece or two of pumpkin
pie. What's a body to do?
I'll share something that works for me... don't waste your time enumerating all the good things
you've got, especially when you realize most of them are flawed and superficial. Instead, focus on
the myriad of problems, inconveniences, woeful situations and debilitating malevolence you don't
have... bullets you have dodged for another year. This will make you feel really thankful about
things that really matter. Here's how it works...
Preparation and The List
This year I attend my 64th Thanksgiving, so I consider myself a man with some experience in the
matter. Put this experience to work by putting aside the usual falderals... don't just hold hands and
ask little Janie to say the blessing. Janie is probably too young to have much insight into the event...
and will be unable to perform her helping role to perfection. Thus the end result will be unutterably
banal, like all the years before.
Instead, seize this bull by the horns and brainstorm a long list of things you are thankful you don't
have to do, think about, or consider in any way. Be brutally frank.
Item: your boss got fired because of that restroom peccadillo, and you never have to see him again.
That was huge!
Item: your estranged cousin Herbie, bete noir of many years, has gone missing, no one knows
where. If he never returns, that would be too soon.
Item: Your darling daughter didn't marry the wild idealist who always played the zither and never
bathed. Delicious.
Item: your neighbor's noisome pooch Mickey, gifted with a piecing yelp and high decibel duration,
ran away in pursuit of amorous freedom. He will of course be missed by someone... but not by you.
Keep going! Don't stint! As you get into the task, you see that the things you don't have, that you
were afraid you would have and forever are the very things you always needed to make this holiday
sing.
Now type your list. You will never remember them all and since each adds its mite to the happy
event, do not rely on memory. Practice, too, reciting them. Read slowly.... with deliberate cadence
and gravitas in your voice.
Having recited this list you will feel, perhaps for the first time in months, truly happy for you have
discovered for yourself and shown the world the ample bounty of happiness at your fingertips,
Thanksgiving now and forever your favorite holiday.
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 8 of 13

9. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
** Your response to this article is requested. What do you think? Let us know by posting your
comments below.
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 9 of 13

10. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
A recognized Internet marketing master delivers the sober
word you don't want to hear: The way you're 'marketing'
online your failure is assured. Take the challenge and see for
yourself.
Author's program note. One of the great films is "Cool Hand Luke" (1967) that features this line
etched in acid, "What we have here is failure to communicate". This line is delivered just after the
prison authority has slashed "Luke" with a whip, causing him to roll over and over down a long,
dusty hill, each rotation more painful than the last. The warden then says what seems an
extraordinary statement: that Luke had been beaten because he wanted it that way... Huh?
But pretty soon you understand the authority figure is right. Luke is determined to do things his way,
when that way is a certain disaster... he won't learn, won't examine his position, and will never admit
to error. The only thing that will enlighten him and change certain failure to incipient progress is
getting beaten and beaten again; then he might see the benefit, the essential value of instruction,
training and constant adjustment and beneficial change.
Luke's pointless "system" delivers nothing but misery. Communication delivers the desired results
that you're too stubborn to master. So what if what you're doing doesn't work. "It's a poor thing but
mine own" and therefore good enough.
Thus, for the music to accompany this article, I give you the theme song to "Cool Hand Luke"
because you bear more than a passing resemblance to a character and a situation that will keep
failing you and which you do not wish to change -- whatever you say. Find the music by Lalo
Schifrin in any search engine, and remember: it's YOUR theme, obstinacy and willful adherence to
present, total, predictable failure being celebrated.
Why you must master marketing to succeed online.
Right now chances are whatever online enterprise you are pursuing is not only failing to make you a
living wage... it is failing to make you anything at all. Don't be coy about this; YOU are a complete,
total, abject, and ridiculous marketing catastrophe. So, what have you been doing to solve this
problem and generate increasing bucks? What have you been doing? I'll tell you what you've been
doing; the same things that delivered failure while expecting success, if you do them long enough
This is the textbook definition of madness... and that makes YOU certifiably crazy.
"Your Money Is In Their Pocket!"
Right now people around the world are walking around with your money in their pockets. Moreover,
due to the pathetic way you "market", one thing is clear: you will never get that money. It will stay in
your customer's pocket... he will in due course spend it elsewhere, thereby depriving himself of
whatever benefit you could deliver and 100% of the profits you would have derived. What's worse,
you seem neither to know nor to care that this travesty of marketing that keeps you broke and
unsuccessful is going on. You're the poor little lamb who has gone astray... and you must be
perfectly happy with that result... since you learn nothing new; try nothing new; and master nothing
new. Amazing!
Magic words that deliver one hot prospect after another; the rocket ship that delivers them.
To succeed online you need, first of all, prospect lists because in my well-known phrase "The list is
the business... and the business is the list." To make money you must have lists; to make lots of
money, you must have bigger lists. Developing this list is a project for each and every day you want
to move money from "their" pockets... to yours. The first critical question: what did you do each day
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 10 of 13

11. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
to move money from "their" pockets... to yours. The first critical question: what did you do each day
this week to grow your pivotal lists? Don't be vague; be rigorously detailed and specific. The sad
fact is, you've probably done nothing on this matter whatsoever. And so you will continue to fail.
That's 100 percent certain.
You must give your prospects a reason to pick up the phone and call you. Do you? Consider this.
Over the years I have turned myself from an impecunious graduate student (albeit at Harvard) into
an online multi-millionaire. How did it happen? By creating powerful, punchy, profit-making ads
like this one, my current favorite and likely to remain so since it is a certifiable money maker:
Call me now for your FREE Internet marketing consultation. $100 value. Let an expert show you
RIGHT NOW how to profit online every single day without leaving home. Call me -- Dr. Jeffrey
Lant -- now, (617) 547-6372. LIVE 24/7/365. Your success guaranteed. I'm waiting for your call
RIGHT NOW!
This verbiage MUST be on EVERYTHING that will be seen, received, read and presented to every
single person you wish to respond. Each time you send out ANYTHING, be that business card,
email message, brochure, space ad, landing page, etc. without these precise words is a marketing
opportunity and ALL its potential profits lost and gone forever "dreadful sorrow, Clementine."
Ebooks as rocket ships.
Now you know the magic words to use that ensure 100 percent guaranteed results. How do you get
them into the hands of prospects who, being motivated by them, will pick up the telephone to make
instant contact with --you? There are many ways, but here's one that takes just about 5-7 minutes per
day. It's ebook marketing... and it's so clever because you don't write your ebooks (though you may
if you like). I DO!
Just over two years ago...
In the fall of 2010, I had an epochal "AHA!" moment. Keep in mind that at that time, the Great
Recession was dragging down the Great Republic, the European Union, and the world. I wanted to
seize this crucial moment when all the best things on Earth were for sale at deeply discounted prices;
I wanted to seize this moment, I say, to fatten my stock portfolio and fast-growing collection of
eye-popping Old Master pictures and the best 18th century furniture. In short, I needed lots of cash...
and a mechanism to deliver it to me and the eager-beavers who saw this turbulent, even frightening
time as the right time for massive asset acquisition. Enter the ebook... the ebook you don't write but
can profit from every single day!
Well over 1,000,000 formatted words, with images and musical cues, marching smartly to 1000
articles.
Here's the good word, bird. Since September, 2010 I have written approaching one thousand articles;
each about 1500 words. You can see them at jeffreylantarticles.com These articles, carefully
researched, carefully written cover over 35 different subject areas. At least 20 new articles are added
every single month. Using them is a breeze...
Go to the article repository. Select any 2 or 3. Add the magic marketing words above. Click, send...
and await certain response... by people picking up the phone to call you... whenever they're ready to
call you.
Is this difficult in any way? No, it's child's play.
Is it time-consuming? Certainly not. 7 minutes for newbies. Under 5 for experienced marketers.
Does it produce prospect leads? Yes, EVERY time you use it, which should be 7 days a week.
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 11 of 13

12. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
And now The Million-Dollar Question. WILL YOU DO IT?
Return to "Cool Hand Luke," obstinate, stubborn, beaten, unsuccessful... just plain stupid.
Now let's be brutally frank with each other. I remind you that this is proven, that it's simple, that it
takes but a few paltry minutes a day, that it will cause your phone to ring off the hook (especially if
you put it on the top of each document for maximum impact), that it will ensure profits, profits
which will grow as you grow your lists.
But you, admit it, are "cool hand Luke", lazy, excuse making, smart aleck, a permanent sneer on
your lips, the know-it-all who knows nothing. You'll follow this advice for a day; maybe, two. You'll
start seeing results. Then your residual bad habits will kick in, including your acute disinclination to
take phone calls from real people. After all, when push comes to shove you are most surely of the "I
love humanity; it's people I can't stand" School of Marketing. And you're a slothful bugger, too.
You'll deny all this of course, just as Paul denied Jesus 3 times before the cock crowed. But the truth
will be most apparent in your derisory bank account, assets, and future. Partner, I hope that sneer on
your face and your reeking arrogance are enough for you, 'cause, baby, that's what you're gonna get.
Capisce?
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13. Happy Thanksgiving As we remember those great days of family and life past reflections enjoy the Turkey and Stuffing
and football!! Nov 19, 2012
Resource
About the Author Harvard-educated Dr. Jeffrey Lant is CEO of Worldprofit, Inc., providing a wide
range of online services for small and-home based businesses. Jeffrey Lant is also the author of 18
best-selling business books.
Republished with author's permission by Howard Martell http://HomeProfitCoach.com.
http://www.HomeProfitCoach.com Copyright Howard Martell - 2012 13 of 13