Cover letters inspire strong opinions.

1. After reviewing the many applications we received, yours was not
selected for further consideration.

2. BEFORE YOU BEGIN

6. YOUR BEGINNING

7. YOUR BEGINNING

14. YOUR BODY

16. AVOID THIS PHRASE

18. EXHIBIT YOUR
PERSONALITY

19. Good morning Elizabeth,
The first thing to know about me is that I’m a
swimmer. I’d like to pinpoint two specific things that
translate well from the water to the workplace:
First, I’m disciplined. Getting up at 5 am every day,
whether it’s snowing or dark or raining, is a
commitment I’ve sustained since I was seven. In
other words, if I tell you I’ll do something, you can
bank on it getting done — no follow-ups necessary.
Second, I’m detail-minded. In a sport where the
difference between first and second place is a
fingertip, I bring precision and focus to my job.
Jonathan Rick

21. Dear Sir:
I like words.
I like fat buttery words, such as ooze, turpitude,
glutinous, toady. I like solemn, angular, creaky
words, such as straitlaced, cantankerous, pecunious,
valedictory.
I like spurious, black-is-white words, such as
mortician, liquidate, tonsorial, demimonde. I like
suave “V” words, such as Svengali, svelte, bravura,
verve.
I like crunchy, brittle, crackly words, such as splinter,
grapple, jostle, crusty. I like sullen, crabbed,
scowling words, such as skulk, glower, scabby, churl.
Robert Pirosh, Page 1

22. I like Oh-Heavens, my-gracious, land’s-sake words,
such as tricksy, tucker, genteel, horrid. I like elegant,
flowery words, such as estivate, peregrinate, elysium,
halcyon.
I like wormy, squirmy, mealy words, such as crawl,
blubber, squeal, drip. I like sniggly, chuckling words,
such as cowlick, gurgle, bubble, and burp.
I like the word screenwriter better than copywriter, so
I decided to quit my job in a New York advertising
agency and try my luck in Hollywood, but before
taking the plunge I went to Europe for a year of
study, contemplation and horsing around.
I have just returned and I still like words.
May I have a few with you?
— Robert Pirosh
Robert Pirosh, Page 2

23. Congratulations! We are pleased to confirm you have been selected to
work for the Department of Defense.