Listening and Giving & Receiving Feedback

Supervisory Training Series: Communication & Self Management
Kevin R.Thomas, Manager,Training & Development · Office of Human Resources · kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu · 413-597-3542
January 2016
kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
413-597-3542
Manager, Training and Development
Office of Human Resources
Presented by Kevin R. Thomas
Supervisory Training Series
Listening Skills
Giving & Receiving Feedback

• Name
• Where you work
• How long you’ve been supervising
• How long you’ve been supervising at Williams
Introductions

1) Program Overview
2) Listening Skills
3) Giving and Receiving Feedback

1. Acknowledgements
2. Structure of the Program
3. Structure of Each Module
4. Ground Rules
Program Overview

• Thanks to:
– Staff Advisory Council
– Staff Committee
– Gary Bonafilia
– Laura Day
– Gayle Donohue
– Steven Hegarty
– Megan Konieczny
– Ferentz Lafargue
– Angie Marano
– Joey McClain
– Katie Nash
Acknowledgements
Program Overview
• And also:
– Raymond Torrenti
– Liz Chambers and Teresa
Waryjasz

Communication
& Self-Management
Supervising Individuals
Supervising Teams
Supervising at Williams
• Listening
• Giving & Receiving Feedback
• Emotional Intelligence
• Difficult Conversations
• Time Management & Prioritization
• Hiring
• Onboarding
• Performance Development
• Dealing with Performance Problems
• Leaves, Absences & Accommodations
• Building Effective Teams
• Resolving Conflict
• Professional Ethics
• Risk Management

Structure of Each Module
Program Overview
Skills
Practice or
Case
Study
discussion
Overview:
“Least you
need to
know”
Who to call
Materials to
add to
binder
Course
web page
with all
materials
Pre-work
article, post-
session
follow up

• Confidentiality
• Participation
• Listening
• Judgement free zone
Ground Rules
Program Overview

1. The Listening Container
2. The Listening Stance
Listening Skills

• Privacy
• Freedom from Distractions
• Time Limit
• Setting Ground Rules
The Listening Container
Listening Skils

• Confidentiality
• “I” statements
• No name calling or pejorative
language
• No interruptions
• Volume and gestures moderate
• Time outs
Setting Ground Rules
Listening Skills Listening Container

• Minimal Encouragements
• Open Ended Questions
• Mirroring Statements
• Empathic Statements
The Listening Stance
Listening Skills

• Echoing words or phrases
• Verbal cues that you are
listening “Oh?”, “Mm
hmm”, “Right.” etc.
• “Is there more about
that?”
• Silence
Minimal Encouragements
Listening Skills The Listening Stance

• Questions that encourage the
speaker to explore the whole
landscape of the topic.
• Cannot be answered “yes” or
“no”
• Beware of advice posing as a
question:
“Have you considered doing
x?”
Open Ended Questions

“You know how advice is.
You only want it if it agrees with what
you wanted to do anyway.”
— John Steinbeck

• Statements that
summarize what the
person has said.
• Helps the other person
know you are hearing
them.
• Follow with “Have I got
that right?”
Mirroring Statements

Empathic Statements
• Sharing your guess about what
the speaker may be feeling:
“Based on what I’m hearing, I’m
guessing you’re really angry about
this.”
• Demonstrates concern and respect
for the person’s feelings.
• Follow with: “Am I right about
that?”
• Don’t be afraid to ask “How are
you feeling?”
• With sincerity, validate feelings:
“That makes sense to me.”

“Anything that’s human is
mentionable. And what’s mentionable is much
more manageable.”
— Fred Rogers

1. Pair up
2. 5 minutes each way
3. Speaker: talk about a professional challenge you’re
facing right now
Listener: Adopt a listening stance. No advice!
4. Switch!
Your Turn!

1. Giving Feedback
2. Receiving Feedback
Giving and Receiving Feedback

• Principles
• Positive feedback
• Constructive feedback
– Directive
– Collaborative
Giving Feedback

• Our brains are wired to notice what’s wrong
• Train yourself to provide positive feedback
• Feedback works best when it is:
– Immediate
– Specific
– Behavioral
– Supportive
Principles

Labeling the Person vs. Describing Behavior
Giving and Receiving
Feedback
Principles
Labeling the
Person
Describe the Behavior
Bad Attitude • Uses sarcasm
• Crosses arms, frowns, avoids eye contact
• Makes comments that undermine morale
Lazy • Delays or ignores certain tasks
• Disappears and cannot be found
• Arrives at work tardy, returns late from breaks.
• Takes longer than needed to complete tasks
• Performance suffers without frequent direction
and oversight
• Ignores obvious problems
• Leaves work for the next shift

Positive Feedback
Giving Feedback
Behavior Impact
Best
chance for
repeated
behavior

Constructive Feedback: Directive
Giving Feedback
Behavi
or Impact
Positive
Future
Alternativ
e
Best
chance for
changed
behavior
• Use for simple, minor situations, as a first attempt to solve a problem.

Constructive Feedback: Non-directive
Giving Feedback
Behavior
Impac
t
1. Use behavior + impact to describe
what you are seeing
2. Ask if they have additional information
you should know. Listen.
3. Ask them for their interpretation.
Listen.
4. Ask questions to ensure they are
taking ownership of the problem.
5. Brainstorm solutions, negotiate, set a
time to check in on progress.

1. Think about some constructive feedback you’d like t
give.
2. Complete both sides of the worksheet.
3. Pair up.
4. Quickly set up the situation and role play giving the
feedback.
5. Switch!
Your Turn!

• Adopt a listening stance
• Ask questions to:
– Get them to focus on
behavior + impact
– Drive towards a
negotiated agreement
about future.
– Set up a time to check
on progress.
Receiving Feedback

Links coming via email:
Contact Kevin Thomas at 413-597-3542
or email kevin.r.thomas@williams.edu
Supervisory Training Series
Communication & Self-Management
Questions?
• Course page link to all course materials
• Program evaluation link, feedback welcome

Listening and Giving & Receiving Feedback

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