Namaste to the chairperson, namaste
to the distinguished guests, namaste to you all, namaste to the people who invited me here to speak, namaste and namaste for all this who I couldn’t mention. #1Start by following convention
Alright, let me take out
this note - written by my secretary. The note is only around 30 pages therefore I request you to pay attention to every word. #2Start by reading out from a note
Hi everyone. Please forgive me.
I didn’t get enough time to prepare this one. In fact, I don’t even know what I’m going to talk about. Really sorry about that. #3Start by making apologies
#4Go one-way traffic Deliver your
presentation without giving the audience any chance to interact. The effect is even greater if you slide- read or read your notes all the way.
#5Speak in a monotone Talk
in a monotone, audience will feel a constant drone like buzz in their ears and will eventually lull into the sleep mode.
I mean you can sort
of understand this you know concept of ummm equality between you know two genders is ummm never going to you know work. #6Use filler words
#7End by making excuses If
you didn’t understand my presentation, I’m really sorry. I should have prepared for your level. I can happily email you the slides.
#8Ending with a Q&A Umm,
what was your question? Let me go back to slide no. 52. Does that answer your question? I can read it again if you want me to. Hope that clears your query.
I know my time is
up but I still have 37 slides to go and 13 mins to rant. So don’t sleep yet. I’ll need your 30 more mins. #9End by exceeding the given time