Commit to success, overcome adversity, increase your EQ, harness criticism, build investment relationships.

1. Power Up: Life &
Work
Commitment Resilience Motivation Communication

2. Power Up: Life & Work
Commit to Success
Overcome Adversity
Increase your EQ
Harness Criticism
Build Investment Relationships

3. Our Work: Together
 I’mMeg Duggan, your facilitator for the
next 12 weeks. I am an entrepreneur,
author, educator and non-profit
executive. I’m here to ensure that you
get the very best from this course, and am
available to you throughout the run of the
class. Please feel free to email me.
 askmeg@likefinewine.net.

4. Overview
This course is all about putting theory into
practice.
Much of the information we’ll be presenting
will be familiar to you. Our work here will be
about applying these ideas to you daily life,
starting today.
Power up and reclaim the best of your life.

5. Our Schedule
Odd Weeks Even Weeks
 We’llspend 10 to  We’lldiscuss your
15 minutes running results from the
through the week’s previous week, and
lesson and the rest open the
of our time in discussion to points
guided discussion. of interest from
each of you.

6. Group Privacy Policy
Like Fine Wine provides a confidential, safe and non-
judgmental environment for women to come learn, grow and
share. We will not disclose any of your personal or particular
information without asking permission and then securing your
release in writing.
In return, we ask that every member of the class offer each
other the same courtesy. Actively participate in class
discussions and respect others while they are sharing their
insights. Feel free to talk about what you are learning in class.
Be excited to make a difference in your community. Do not,
however, discuss any names or personal information gathered
in the classroom. Take advantage of everything the LFW
community has to offer while respecting everyone in it.
We appreciate your enthusiasm and look forward to growing
with you

7. Week One
Commit to Success
 Revitalize
Your Commitment
 Take Ownership and Move Forward
 Re-Commit with Passion and Clarity

9. Commitment
 Set the goal, see the steps, follow through.
 Commitment begins with WRITTEN goals.
 Measure your progress to maintain your
commitment.
 Surround yourself with other committed
people.
 Acknowledge your own power.
 Imagine it! Imagination is intelligence
having fun…

10. Learn It and Live It
The Attributes of Committed People
 They write and verbalize their commitments. This
doesn’t mean sitting around talking about what they
want to do! They put their goals into words and then get
busy.
 They’re realistic. They don’t over-promise and under-
deliver.
 They invest in achieving their goals.
 They don’t beat themselves up for falling short. They use
experiences to learn and continue their process.
 They plan their lives around what it takes to achieve a
goal. They are focused, and they make success a top
priority.

11. 3 Things You Can Do
 Stay the course. If your goal is worth
committing to, it is worth the price that
comes with passionate commitment.
 Surround yourself with people who are
equally committed and passionate.
 Clarify your commitments. Put your goals
into words and write them down.
 Make an investment in yourself and your
goals.

13. Discussion Questions
 Does it feel possible to take ownership and
responsibility at work? Why or why not?
 What is taking precedence over your time
and energy that is keeping you from meeting
your career goals?
 Have you set your goals or has someone else
set them for you? Can you clearly state a
work goal that also encompasses your life
goals?
 Are there investments you should be making
in yourself or other people? Your education?

14. This week….
 Clarify your
commitment. Put your
goals into words and
write them down. For
next week, prepare
your personal elevator
statement. In 2
minutes or less,
describe what your
goals and dreams are
for YOURSELF for the
next 2 years.

15. Week Two - Discussion
 Share
your elevator  Did you encounter
speech. any difficulties
while writing your
elevator speech?
 Did you identify
any new goals?

16. Week Three: Overcoming
Adversity
 Learning to overcome adversity is a
critical turning point on your road to
success.
 Those who are effective in the face of
adversity make a conscious choice to
spend their energy attacking a problem
and moving forward.
 Your choice is your power. Are you mired
or motivated?

17. Five Steps to Success During
Adverse Times
 Recognize - Acknowledge what is and
what is not lost. Even in the worst of times,
we need to understand that all is not lost
and that we have the power to make
choices and move forward.
 See – Find your vision. Adversity limits our
sight and blinds us to all but the
challenges of the moment. Move past
“why” and see “where” in your future.

18. Five Steps (cont)
 Reach – Allow help in. Don’t struggle
alone when someone just a phone call
away might be able to move you
forward.
 Move – Adversity causes many of us to
panic, freeze and stop because all we
can see are roadblocks and barriers.
People respond best to crisis when they
maximize their forward motion. Find
something to do. Make a plan, any plan.

19. Five Steps (cont)
 Celebrate - Find something to celebrate,
however small it may seem. Celebration
feeds our positive energy and our sense of
hope. It nourishes our spirits, refreshes our
attitudes, and gives us strength to fight off
attacks of negativism and fear that
accompany adversity.

20. Discussion Questions
 When adversity strikes, do you get mired or
motivated? When have you been mired or
motivated? What got you motivated to
move ahead?
 Who in your circle has admirably overcome
adversity? What skills did they employ?
 When has adversity in your life turned out to
be a “blessing in disguise?” When did you
realize and celebrate adversity into
adventure?

21. This Week…
Think about an adverse
event in your life. How did
you overcome the event?
Which of the five steps did
you use? Do you have
additional insights to share?
What, if anything, would you
differently today that might
have mitigated your pain?

22. Week 4 - Discussion
 Share your  What tools for
thoughts on an overcoming
adverse event in adversity were
your life. brought into focus
for you?
 Will you handle
forthcoming
adverse events
differently?

23. Week Five – Emotional
Intelligence Part One
 What accounts for the large part of
success at work and at home that is not
due to IQ, skills or specialized knowledge?
Many believe it is Emotional Intelligence
(EQ), the ability to understand and use
emotions in a positive manner.

25. Emotional Intelligence – 4
Aspects
Recognizing Emotions
Understanding Emotions
Regulating Emotions
Using Emotions

26. Attending To Yourself
 Recognizing your own emotions gives you
important cues about your own judgments
and behaviors.
 Recognizing emotions in others gives you
critical information about them; emotions are
information and are useful in the pursuit of
your goals.
 Emotional cues include facial expressions,
voice tone, volume and modulation and
body language.

27. Understanding Your Emotions
 Ask yourself why? What is the cause of
these emotions? What are the
consequences of acting from this
emotion?
 Anticipate how your emotions and
emotional behavior will affect others.
 Learn to take another’s perspective.
What is the other person feeling? Why?

28. Perspective!

29. Discussion Question –
Recognizing Emotions
 To a considerable degree, how you
interpret and react to your own emotions
and those of others is learned. Think about
how your parents, siblings, friends,
coworkers and bosses have been
influential. How might you seek out and
acquire new constructive responses?

30. Discussion Questions –
Recognizing Emotion
I feel, I act? I feel, I act.
 I am happy when:  Which emotions are
 I am sad when: easiest for me to
express?
 I am fearful when:  How do my reactions
 I am frustrated when: and behavior reflect
 I am angry when: my feelings?
 I am excited when:  How might outcomes
and relationships be
 I hate it when: different if I react
 I am lonely when: differently?

32. Discussion Questions –
Emotions in Others
Attending to Others Attending To Myself
 Which emotions in others  What distinguishes those
am I able to accurately situations in which I am
accurately able to
identify? On which do I identify emotions in
need work? others, from those in
 Am I more likely to attend which I cannot?
to facial expressions,  Do I assume that other’s
words are accurate
voice or body language? reflections of their feelings
and look no further?
 How do I react to others
in emotional situations?

33. The Take Away
 Monitor your own emotional states frequently.
Recognize your emotions and learn
thoughtful and deliberate responses. Attend
to how you feel and how you are reacting.
 Pay attention to what you are feeling and
why you are feeling it. Notice the connection
between what you are feeling and what you
say or do.
 Take note of how your feelings are affecting
your relationships with others.

34. For Next Week:
 Keep an emotional diary for the next
week. Record how you felt at various
points throughout your day, what
triggered those feelings and how you
responded.
 Also note your responses to other
people’s emotions. What are your
personal emotional dynamics?

35. Week 6 – Discussion
 Share
from your  Did you discover
emotional diary. any situations that
are highly charged
for you?
 Does attending to
and monitoring
your emotions
change how you
express them?

36. Week 7 – Emotional
Intelligence Part 2
 Regulating and Using Emotions
Peak Performance
Low Arousal High Arousal

37. Benefits
 Maximize your performance
 Persist through frustration and temptation
 Inhibit destructive responses to
provocation
 Make it easier to “Do the Right Thing”

38. Paths to Emotional Regulation
 Self suppression – Delay responses, take a
“time out”
 Cognitive Reappraisal – change the
personal meaning you attach to the
situation
 Shift attention – learn to focus your
attention away from the situation that is
causing you high arousal

39. On Anger…
 Anger is one of the most destructive
emotions at home and at work.
 You can control some of your anger and
all of the ways you express anger.
 Controlling anger requires both external
and internal processes.
 FIRST – you need time. Step away from
the situation.

41. Anger…
Internal Controls External Controls
 Remind yourself that “angry” is  Explain that you are angry and
not the image you want to why, and that you want to
present discuss and resolve the issue.
 Repeat to yourself “I am in  Begin sentences with “I” rather
control and the anger I feel will than “you”
pass.”  Never direct your anger at
 Reframe: "You make me another persons personality or
angry” to “I will deal with my intellect
anger constructively”  Balance expressed anger with
 Ask yourself what other care, concern and
situations in your life might be appreciation.
contributing to your current  Don’t yet. Increased volume
emotions? escalates emotions and
conflict.

42. Regulating Emotions in Others
 Being emotionally intelligent means
comforting, encouraging, motivating and
calming others as you build relationships,
reduce tension and resolve conflict.
Listening will often be the first, best and
sometimes the only thing you can do.

43. Active Listening
 Active
listening means being attentive
and working to understand the message
and emotions being expressed. It means
attending to verbal as well as nonverbal
cues. Active Listening:
 Makes the speaker feel free to talk openly
and honestly
 Makes the speaker feel he or she is being
understood.

44. Principles of Active Listening
 Ask open-ended questions rather than questions
that can be answered with a “yes or no”
 Don’t be afraid on silence. After asking a
question, wait long enough for the other person to
think about and formulate their answer.
 Ask for examples to clarify
 Restate or summarize what you think has been
said.
 Let the other person know when you understand
and when you don’t.

45. Discussion Questions
 What changes have the
greatest priority for
you(e.g. recognizing or
expressing emotions,
controlling anger,
attending to the
emotional states of
others)?
 What changes, if not
made, will be
detrimental to your
personal and
professional
relationships?

46. For Next Week…
 Continue on with your emotional diary, but
assess yourself.
 What do I do well?
 What areas need improvement?
 Was I attentive to verbal and nonverbal cues?
 Am I accurate in my perspective taking?
 Am I honest and informative when I express my
feelings?
 Do I control my emotions, or do they control
me?

47. Week 8 - Discussion
 From your diary,  What techniques
share what you do did you apply last
well. week? What
 In what areas situations arose?
could you stand to  Verbal/Non Verbal
improve?
cuing?
 How well do you
 Active Listening?
control your
emotions?  Self-regulation?

48. Week 9 – Give and Receive
Criticism
 CHOOSE TO EMBRACE CRITICISM!
 Criticism laser focuses fragmented
attention on some of the more important
aspects of our jobs and lives.
 Criticism is a teaching tool – but more
importantly it is a learning tool.

50. Receiving Criticism
 Acknowledge criticism as feedback.
 Ask – who is offering this criticism? Are they
qualified? Is their intent to help or hurt?
 Stay positive. Don’t put your self-esteem at
the mercy of others.
 If the criticism seems personal, attempt to
reframe it to specific behaviors.
 Pay attention to feedback and adjust your
behaviors accordingly.

51. Make Criticism Your Choice
 Be aware that criticism comes with
success. Embrace it and learn from it.
 Accept constructive criticism as a gift. Let
it enlighten you about the changes you
need to make.
 Acknowledge that criticism is a learning
tool, as well as a teaching tool.

52. Discussion Questions
Why is it our natural instinct to become
defensive about criticism? What can we do
about this reaction?
 Can you name a time when criticism was
the catalyst of your success?
 Whencan criticism be correct, but
wrong?

54. Giving Feedback to Others
 Constructive criticism should address an
area that needs improving but does not
speak to the person’s self.
 Criticism should be a reasoned,
unemotional response in an effort to
teach.
 Criticism works best when the timing is
right.

55. Discussion Questions
 In your organization, is there a
standardized, formal structure for
feedback and criticism? Does it work?
 What improvements could be made to
the system?
 How are your constructive criticism tools?
Do you find that you are able to affect
change with inflicting pain?

56. For Next Week:
 Write a criticism of this course and of your
facilitator.

57. Week 10 - Discussion
 Lets
talk about this  Did you have an
course! Is it helpful? occasion to give or
What could we be receive feedback
doing better? last week? How
What are we doing did it go? Where
well? you able to
separate the
personal from the
professional?

58. Week 11- Building Investment
Relationships

59. Investing in Relationships
 The ability to develop trust and get along
with others is a basic requirement for
success.
 Healthy, energizing relationships take time
and energy from both people involved.
Healthy relationships will grow and
change over time.

60. Individuals in Healthy
Relationships…
 Are interested in the feelings, concerns and
dreams of others.
 Are wiling to take responsibility for improving
the relationship and encourage other people
to do the same.
 Understand that other people bring not only
good but also bring some negative baggage
from other relationships.
 Know that their actions affect other people’s
happiness and success.

61. Trust
 Research shows that the basis for all
healthy relationships is trust. Trust in a
relationship is characterized by:
A willingness to talk through problems
 Feeling safe to share openly
 The development of a comfortable way to
share positive and negative feelings

62. Choose Wisely
 One of the most important choices we
make is whom we hang around with. We
will become like the five people we spend
the most time with. Be careful who you
choose to invest your time in!

64. Improving Relationships
 Your relationships reflect the relationship you have
with yourself. Treat yourself with caring
acceptance and gentle compassion.
 Show people you care about them with positive
thoughts and deeds. Inspire respect and cause
others to value their relationship with you.
 Take time to make contact and nurture your
relationships.
 Be willing to compromise. The ultimate test of a
relationship is to disagree but to respect the other
person.
 Practice forgiveness when the relationship is
tested.

65. The Take Away
 Focus on building positive relationships with
your peers, subordinates, friends and bosses.
Invest time in recognizing your professional
relationships. For those who are making a
difference in your life, take the time to write
them a note and express your appreciation.
 Become a mentor for others.
 Make wise choices about relationship
investments.

66. Discussion Questions
 What relationships are having the most
impact on your success?
 How much time are you spending
nurturing your relationships and mentoring
others?
 What can you do, today, to develop
positive relationships in your life?

67. For Next Week…
 What was the most important take-away
from our class?
 Have you made any changes and seen
any improvements?
 What remains most difficult for you?

68. Week 12 – The Wrap Up
 Thanks to you all for being so engaged
and interested these past 12 weeks.
Lets talk about where we are now, and
where we hope to go!
 Anyone revise their elevator speech?
 Did you build any relationships in or out of
our group?
 What’s changed for you?