4. What is Assertiveness?
Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself openly
and honestly while also reflecting a genuine concern
for others.
5. Because assertiveness is based on mutual respect, it's
an effective and diplomatic communication style.
Being assertive shows that you respect yourself
because you're willing to stand up for your interests
and express your thoughts and feelings. It also
demonstrates that you're aware of the rights of
others and are willing to work on resolving conflicts.
Why assertive communication makes
sense
8. When confronted with difficult
situations, people can sometimes
respond passively or aggressively
9. Passive person often feels inhibited, anxious, and
allows others to downgrade their value.
If you may seem to be shy or overly easygoing. In
essence, when you're too passive, you give others the
license to disregard your wants and needs.
Assertive vs. passive behavior
10. Aggressive individuals express their rights but often
on a wrong way by degradation or humiliation of
others.
Aggressive behavior undercuts trust and mutual
respect.
Assertive vs. aggressive behavior
13. Open questions yield a lot of information because
they allow a person to explain what is most important
or interesting an encourage more elaboration.
Open Question
14. Probing questions are those that relate to the topic
we want to explore further. They encourage the
speaker to flash out the details.
Probing Question
15. Closed vs. Open
Closed
When did that happen?
Was your trip successful?
Did you like the candidate?
Did you have a good meeting?
Open
What led up to that?
What did you manage to
accomplish on your trip?
In what ways do you think that
candidate meets your needs?
What happened at the
meeting?
16. Assertive communication takes practice.
Flexibility: Match your style of communication to the
situation/person you are communicating with.
Skill, not personality: Communication styles are
skills, not personality styles. You can leer to become
more assertive.
Retreat, think, return: Take a break from the
conversation. Relax/rethink and then try again.
Key Principles
17. Confidence: state facts, step up to the challenge
Clarity: easy to understand, clearly articulated
Control: monitor your emotions, stay composed,
repeat the same message until understood (broken
record).
Remember the 3C
19. Call a person by their name
Use humor: it breaks down negative emotions and
will put tense situations at ease
Use appropriate words:
“excuse me”
“thank you”
“I appreciate it”
1 Use polite words
20. Using “you” puts the other person on the defensive
Prefer "I":
“I think...”
“I noticed...”
“I didn’t like...”
“I am concerned about”.
#2 Begin your sentences with "I"
instead of "you"
21. Don’t leave the other person in the dark
Show program
Present facts and data, not opinions and interpretations
Always get the facts right before you pass judgment
Let the person know your goal or possible solution
connect the two individuals who share the issue.
e.g.: “I heard that John complained about Rick.” => “Have
you checked with John about this? Has he talked to Rick
about it.
3 Say what you want,
22. Don’t put the person down
Focus on their behavior when communicating
Instead of ”You're too slow !” say “I don’t think you
are doing your share of the work.”
Look at the in the person’s eyes
#4 Criticize the behavior, not the
person
23. keep on track ,
if other topics are introduced. Repeat the problem
back this indicates that you want to solve the original
problem first,
You can talk about other problems later,
Stay focused on the issue – do not get distracted,
defensive, or start justifying yourself,
Get group validation.
5 Repeat the problem back,
articulate the issues
24. For example:
Who’s going to do what?
Who takes the lead?
When are they going to do it?
Everyone needs a clear understanding:
Answer: who, what, when, where, how much, how many
Display strength and courage, and step up to the
challenge
Own the results, the risks like the failure. Be honest about
it.
6 Make commitments where
appropriate
25. Behaving assertively can help you:
Gain self-confidence and self-esteem
Understand and recognize your feelings
Earn respect from others
Improve communication
Create win-win situations
Improve your decision-making skills
Create honest relationships
Gain more job satisfaction
benefits of being assertive